Why is it so painful being a scorpio? :(?

I am a scorpio sun with aquarius rising, moon, jupiter, mars in saggitarius, Mercury, N.node in Libra, sun,venus and pluto in scorpio plus saturn in pisces and uranus, neptune in capricorn. Honestly I hate being a scorpio, I feel so sensitive as hell, and I feel the slightest of insults :( people also describe me as calm above but totally not innocent and with many underlying issues. I feel saddendened when they say such things to me, though its kinda true. I'm full of angst on the inside and I bear grudges. I hate it that my likes and hates are to the extremes, I feel like I'm gonna explode when I see someone I hate, and get so overly jealous when they talk to my friends. Its painful to have such negative emotions everytime, which I believe has to do with my scorpio sun. People also love to say that I'm mean and sarcastic to the extremes. Can someone also gove me an explanation of what having those signs in the other planets mean?